They have landed ...

Meiguito Reporter: Caro Presidente Florentino Perez, a sua equipa de galácticos parece que voltou a pisar a Terra. 

Florentino Perez: Si, si. La gira a las estrellas fue largo y agotador. Estamos de vuelta en la Tierra y la gravedad está pesando nuestras piernas y manteniéndonos bajos.

Meiguito Reporter: O que diz sobre as noticias que o Senhor procura um treinador para substituir o Zidanos no imediato.

Florentino Perez: Eso no es verdad. La única oferta de trabajo es para un tratador de césped. Queremos a alguien con un amor por la hierba con algo de experiencia como entrenador y un par de títulos de liga de campeones en la bolsa.

Meiguito Reporter: Mas ... que treinador campeão aceitaria tratar da relva?

Florentino Perez: Muchos lo harían ... Solo para tener el honor de cuidar el pasto que estos jugadores pisan.

Meiguito Reporter: O Zidanos se calhar E que não ia gostar muito disso ...

Florentino Perez: El ya esta descontento ...

Se ganância fosse um derivado financeiro ...

... eu recomendaria a sua compra a todos os especuladores. Qual cryptomoedas! O crescimento da ganância E muito mais forte e sustentado que qualquer bitcoin. Enquanto antigamente se dizia que "no poupar E que está o ganho", a modernidade sugere "no roubar E que está o ganho". Roubem. Roubem. A força toda!! Alimentem essa ganância. Isto so pode acabar bem.

Ongoing conversation with FEDEX ... another week goes by ... and FEDEX really has no clue!!!

Meiguito: I'm calling because FEDEX Tracking keeps sliding my scheduled delivery date to the next day and I just want to know whats going on and when will the package be delivered. 

FEDEX Ms. Dirac: Let me see ... the notes I have say that the package has been placed in an abandoned area.

Meiguito: What? Since when?

FEDEX Ms. Dirac: Since December 27.

Meiguito: Oh! But since then, the local FEDEX representatives have told me, in writing, that the package has cleared customs and that I should await its delivery. So, how can it be abandoned? And by the way, the FEDEX Tracking site says my package is in transit! How can it be abandoned and be in transit?

FEDEX Ms. Dirac: Well, I could give the following convoluted explanation ... blablabla held in customs ...blablabla abandoned blablabla in transit blablabla ... but really I don't know. I will have to go find out. I'll put in a request for information on status of this delivery. You'll get a followup call probably tomorrow.

Meiguito: Ok. Please do that. I appreciate it.

...

Meiguito in deep thoughts: FEDEX doesn't know the status of my package delivery??? Who are they going to ask then? Who would know? ... I wonder, has FEDEX developed some form of quantum teleportation of packages?? There is an obvious quantum entanglement between the sending and receiving locations ... that would explain how my package can be in superposition of states: held by customs; located in abandoned area; in transit; delivered. How do I collapse this wave function to the single delivered eigenstate? What quantum measurement or observation is needed? What am I not seeing?

Ongoing conversation with FEDEX ... about 4 weeks in.

FEDEX: Your package is black and we cannot get it passed customs and deliver it to the final destination without the missing paperwork.

Meiguito: What missing paperwork?

FEDEX: (two weeks + long silence & a lot of other conversations about money & no word on the "missing" paperwork).

Meiguito: Actually, my package is blue and according to EU laws and regulations, specifically ruling 206/2009 - sections 3 and 6, as well as article 1 line 1, annex IV line 7, and article 4 - with these relevant ruling excerpts outlined here for your convenience, all blue packages are exempt and it is the carrier's duty to inform customers of all relevant rules applicable to their shipping situation. 

FEDEX: No, your package is black and it needs this additional paperwork. Please follow the following procedure. More details on this issue can be found in the attached documents that relate to the current regulations.

Meiguito: Finally, some info on the "missing" paperwork. However, dear FEDEX, I should note that your attached documents clearly state that my package is blue and therefore exempt. Hence, I continue to not understand the need for additional paperwork!!!

FEDEX: Oh! Hum ... ok, we'll try to get you package passed customs ... as is.

Funny football duels

Desportivo das Aves - Desportivo de Chaves

Rio Ave - Aves

Genk - Gent

NAC - NEC

Barnsley - Burnley
------------------------

It's not
Nice - Toulouse

And finally, so many years with Arsène Wenger...
Watford - Arsenal??

If FEDEX were a Medical Services provider, this is how the conversation would sound like.

gRingo eStar: Miss, gRingo eStar has strong headache. Dizzy. Ohhhh .... Help!

FedexMed Office clerk: $200, please.

Meiguito: here you go! $200. Now, please get him to the doctor.

Dr. Fredex: Mister gRingo, nothing to be worried about. Let the nurse patch you up and off you go. If the pain persists, take this medicine and get some rest.

... a few hours later ... 

Meiguito: He is in a coma!!! Dr. Fredex, gRingo is in a coma!!!! After taking this medicine that you gave him.

FedexMed Office clerk: $200, please.

Meiguito: Wait ... what??? Dr. Fredex, come back here. We need you!!

Fedex Nurse: Oh ... that is unfortunate ... that is one of the many side effects this medication has ... anyway, it was Mr. gRingo's responsibility to read the label and determine if he wanted to risk it or not. He should have educated himself before taking the medicine.

Meiguito: !!!! What!? But why didn't you or Dr. Fredex mention any of this?

Fedex Nurse: Oh, its in the fine print on the back of the sheet that Mr. gRingo signed. You see, here where it says we take no responsibility and make no effort to inform our customers about the risks of medication and medical procedures. Its up to the customer to figure things out.

Meiguito: But, gRingo was too sick and dizzy to read and understand anything that complex. Besides, he is not learned either in medicine or pharmacology. That is your job!! You should have told us something!!

FedexMed Office clerk: $200, please. Plus $300 for the antidote and another $50 for doing my job.

Meiguito: But, ... and what about the possible side effects of this antidote?

Fedex Nurse: I suggest Mr. gRingo educate himself before taking it. To be frank, I have no clue, actually. 

Meiguito: But he is in a coma!!!

Fedex Nurse: :-) have a great day. And don't forget to pay the clerk.

Meiguito: I want my $200 back!

FedexMed Office clerk: Well, for that you first you have to open an account with FedexMed, online, then pay another $200 + 300 + 50 for the antidote, and then you can open a case with our billing department to get a refund.

Meiguito: What if the Antidote doesn't work? What if it keeps gRingo in a coma?

Fedex Nurse: There is no guarantee that it will ... work.

FedexMed Office clerk: The billing department might give you a refund. You'll have to ask them.

... call to the billing department ...

FedexMed Billing Department Sleazeball: Well, Mr. Meiguito, if the patient has already been treated, then fortunately for us, we don't have to refund you. That is our policy.

Meiguito: But the treatment prescribed by Dr. Fredex has rendered the patient into a coma.

FedexMed Billing Department Sleazeball: The patient did that at his own risk. He's the one who decided to take the medicine. No one forced it down his throat. It is not our job at FedexMed to inform patients about risks and side effects. That is the patient's responsibility. Next time, please visit our website to learn more about our policies. 

Meiguito: Are you serious??

FedexMed Billing Department Sleazeball: 100%.