terça-feira, 2 de janeiro de 2018

If FEDEX were a Medical Services provider, this is how the conversation would sound like.

gRingo eStar: Miss, gRingo eStar has strong headache. Dizzy. Ohhhh .... Help!

FedexMed Office clerk: $200, please.

Meiguito: here you go! $200. Now, please get him to the doctor.

Dr. Fredex: Mister gRingo, nothing to be worried about. Let the nurse patch you up and off you go. If the pain persists, take this medicine and get some rest.

... a few hours later ... 

Meiguito: He is in a coma!!! Dr. Fredex, gRingo is in a coma!!!! After taking this medicine that you gave him.

FedexMed Office clerk: $200, please.

Meiguito: Wait ... what??? Dr. Fredex, come back here. We need you!!

Fedex Nurse: Oh ... that is unfortunate ... that is one of the many side effects this medication has ... anyway, it was Mr. gRingo's responsibility to read the label and determine if he wanted to risk it or not. He should have educated himself before taking the medicine.

Meiguito: !!!! What!? But why didn't you or Dr. Fredex mention any of this?

Fedex Nurse: Oh, its in the fine print on the back of the sheet that Mr. gRingo signed. You see, here where it says we take no responsibility and make no effort to inform our customers about the risks of medication and medical procedures. Its up to the customer to figure things out.

Meiguito: But, gRingo was too sick and dizzy to read and understand anything that complex. Besides, he is not learned either in medicine or pharmacology. That is your job!! You should have told us something!!

FedexMed Office clerk: $200, please. Plus $300 for the antidote and another $50 for doing my job.

Meiguito: But, ... and what about the possible side effects of this antidote?

Fedex Nurse: I suggest Mr. gRingo educate himself before taking it. To be frank, I have no clue, actually. 

Meiguito: But he is in a coma!!!

Fedex Nurse: :-) have a great day. And don't forget to pay the clerk.

Meiguito: I want my $200 back!

FedexMed Office clerk: Well, for that you first you have to open an account with FedexMed, online, then pay another $200 + 300 + 50 for the antidote, and then you can open a case with our billing department to get a refund.

Meiguito: What if the Antidote doesn't work? What if it keeps gRingo in a coma?

Fedex Nurse: There is no guarantee that it will ... work.

FedexMed Office clerk: The billing department might give you a refund. You'll have to ask them.

... call to the billing department ...

FedexMed Billing Department Sleazeball: Well, Mr. Meiguito, if the patient has already been treated, then fortunately for us, we don't have to refund you. That is our policy.

Meiguito: But the treatment prescribed by Dr. Fredex has rendered the patient into a coma.

FedexMed Billing Department Sleazeball: The patient did that at his own risk. He's the one who decided to take the medicine. No one forced it down his throat. It is not our job at FedexMed to inform patients about risks and side effects. That is the patient's responsibility. Next time, please visit our website to learn more about our policies

Meiguito: Are you serious??

FedexMed Billing Department Sleazeball: 100%.

1 comentário:

AD disse...

This FEDE-x stinks!!!